Confusing

These days are confusing days for me. I just dont know what I should do, what I have supposed to feel, hear, believe and react. Oh God, I really dont know. This is confusing. It's like I lost my self. I really lost my way. Everything that I've done these days it's like fatamorgana. Looks good but not real. What the hell is going on with me!!!

Usually I always know what I want, but now, I'm not that sure. Usually I always straight with what I believe in, but now I didn't really now what I straight for. God, this is confusing.

Then start to read anything in pinterest, just in case it will make me calm. But unfortunately it doesn't worked well. Damn! I need inner peace. Like panda in kungfu pandathe movie, INNER PEACE. Should I join any yoga training??? Hash...

Then I sholat..
I tell my confuseness to Allah. I really want the answer. About my actualization. About who I'm. What i supposed yo do. About everything. Dear Allah, save me..

When I'm alone, i just hear my heart to go back home.
This is confusing, I'm home now, in my hometown. With my family and iwa's family. Why I should go back home if I'm in home right now??? -______-"

One thing that I realize (even I dont know yet, that is true or not) that "home" in here means my husband. Home is the place where my husband exist. Home is where my husband is. Oh God.,, if only my teeth and my graduation done early, I'll go home NOW!!